Stairway to Heaven
by Fakety Mcfakename
Summary: Chronicles Operation High Tension syndrome. The Battlefront must be EXTREMELY EXCITED ALL THE TIME OHMYGOSH IS THAT A RAG I LOVE RAGS RAGS CLEAN AND REAL MEN CLEAN. Adapted from the Angel Beats OVA of the same name.
1. Chapter 1

Yuri slammed a book on the table. At the sound, the chattering of the other Battlefront members quickly ceased. They settled into their seats, and stared at their leader in leaden anticipation.

Yuri huffed, brushing back her hair as she gazed out at them. Her eyes narrowed. "So… Once more, we have lost to Angel."

Ooyama gulped.

"S'not really fair," Fukimaki muttered. "She had the whole school baseball team."

"I had a lot of fun, though," Matsushita said cheerfully.

"Enough!" Yuri hissed. She clicked the projector on behind her. "As I said previously, failure in _Operation: Thrash Angel to pieces through sportsmen ship_ will result in _severe _punishments."

Everyone gulped with Ooyama.

Yuri smiled as the screen behind her finished loading. The words _Operation: High Tension_ flashed on the screen.

Um… Otanashi thought. I don't really like where this is going. But when he looked around, his fellows shared his confusion.

"Uh, Yurippe?" Takamatsu spoke up. "None of us have ever heard of this operation."

Their leader laughed sweetly. "Of course. I just made it up, for this, _special, _situation. For the next 24 hours, the lot of you must be happy in the _extreme_, in everything that you do! You must become the ideal students, totally energized in your commitment to embrace school ideals."

Slides of clip art flashed behind Yuri, of stick figures studying in class, playing on sports fields, and skipping down hallways. Yuri's eye twitched. "While studying, eating, and playing, you must be at the pinnacle of excitement. For the next 24 hours, you are not allowed to calm down."

The Battlefront gazed back at her with the gaping mouths of fish.

"But, but," Takamatsu finally managed. "We'll get obliterated! If we do this, if we become the ideal, perfect students this place wants us to be, Angel will win! We'll disappear!"

"Dazed and confused, man," TK moaned.

"This is so stupid," Shiina muttered.

Hinata's head sunk into his hands as he groaned. His fellows gazed at him in confusion. "No," he said finally. "No, we won't be obliterated. Yuri's asking us to feign excitement constantly, that's not contentment, that painful! It's torture!"

Otanashi stood up. "What kind of operation is this?" he accused.

Yuri bounced an eyebrow. "Oh, calm down," she berated. "It could be a lot worse, you know. And besides, genius that I am, your punishment shall serve an additional purpose.

"In fact, _Operation: High Tension_ is one of our most diabolical anti-Angel plots yet. For as Takamatsu said, during the course of this experiment, you will appear to fulfill all the criteria for passing on. It will seem to Angel that we have become obedient to God's will. However, none of us will disappear!

"Angel will become confused. '_Oh my dear stars_,' she will worry. '_What in the heavens could be going on? My master's plot isn't working!'_ Our enemy will become disoriented, at our advantage."

Yuri's eyes gleamed. "She will seek instructions. And so, Angel will return to her Master. And, we shall follow her. We shall follow her right to God."

"Whoa…" came the collective gasp.

To God, Otanashi wondered. He tried to imagine what God would look like, and couldn't manage anything more than a colossal, bearded figure, towering over the Battlefront.

"Now that you all understand, I hope you will fulfill this mission with the best of your efforts. However, to give you enough motivation, to ensure success… If this operation does _not _succeed, you will be subject to an even more creative punishment. You will each be given a Special Gift.

All around Otanashi, faces turned pale at the mention.

"The operation starts now, and will continue until 11:00 Am, tomorrow. Operation, start!" And at the declaration, a giant countdown clock appeared on the screen behind Yuri. 24:00:00. 23:59:59.

They stared at it for a second, transfixed. Yuri cleared her throat.

"Uh-Hinata! Wanna have a wrestling throw down?" Yui asked nervously. "I've got some moves I wanna slam on you!"

Hinata sprung up with her. "No, I don't! Hey, Otanashi are you ready! There's only one way young boys can exist in the ecstasy of youth! Come on, let's go down to the fields, and play… BASEBALL!"

"Um."

"Fine!" Yui sang, unabashed. "I'll just go hang out with GirlDeMo, and compose a killer love song!" She flew out the door.

Noda hastily sprung up. "WAIT A MOMENT! You can't play baseball by just throwing the ball around. Let me in, so I can hit it!

Hinata snapped around to face him, and observed him with a painful grin. "…Great Idea. You do like hitting things!"

"That's why I asked to join!"

"Hold on!" Matsushita the fifth hoped over the couch to join them. "You guys are going to need an outfielder!"

"County myself in as well!" Takamatsu. "You shall need my superior intellect for this venture to succeed!"

"All right," Hinata roared happily. "Come on everyone. Let's go play some BASEBALL!"

They hustled out, Otanashi trailing uncertainly.

Silence descended on the war room.

"Takayama, you are excused from this exercise," Yuri spoke suddenly. "I need you working full time on figuring out that 'Angel Player' program."

Takayama looked physically relieved. "Oh, thank Bill gates. Being five years old once was bad enough." He happily tucked into his laptop.

Yuri looked out from behind her desk at those who remained. "Well? What shall the rest of you stellar students be up to?"

Ooyama swallowed heavily; he and Fukimaki exchanged frantic glances.

"Uh… Hey! Ooyama, why don't we hop down to the cafeteria, and partake of the fine cuisine this excellent school has to offer?" Fukimaki spoke through clenched teeth.

"Yes!" Ooyama cried. "There's nothing youth like better then a good meal! TK, won't you come with us!"

He flipped them double peace sings, and started moonwalking towards the exit.

"Shiina, do you…" Ooyama started, and frowned. "Oh. She's already gone."

"BUT THAT'S OKAY!" Fukimaki broke in franticly. "Because we're off to eat!" And they sprinted out.

Yuri was left alone. Folding her hands together, she began a low chuckle.

"_Great_," Yusa sighed from the radio. "_This is going to be a fun one_."

Pushing each other around, laughing loudly, and singing awful ditties, Otanashi and the others meandered down to Gym Storage room.

"The joys of school life," Takamatsu exulted as they piled Matsushita up with mitts.

"The thrill of the open air!" Noda cried, swinging his bat over his head as they reached the grounds.

"Truly it is youth," Hinata agreed as they neared the fields. "Don't you agree, Otanashi!"

"Sure?"

"Excellent! In that case, prepare to-"

"Where are you boys going?" a soft voice called. They whirled around, true panic bubbling up. Angel stood feet away, regarding them softly.

Hinata found his voice. "WE'RE GOING TO PLAY SANDLOT BASEBALL! It truly is the epitome of our youth!"

She frowned. "Youth?"

Hinata beamed. "Yes, youth!"

"I've trained for years, to perfect my youth," Matsushita cried.

"My mind is stretched to its breaking point over the joys of youth!" Takamatsu claimed.

"I'm ready to enjoy school life," Noda agreed, a dangerous glint in his eye.

"But second period is about to start," Angel said quietly.

Hinata collapsed to his knees; you could feel the gusts of hot air blowing out of the group.

"Second… period?"

He suddenly straightened up, the unnatural smile returning to him. "NEVER FEAR! Studying is part of the natural, beautiful youth!"

"You are actually going to attend class?"

"Of course," Matsushita grinned. "Studying is all I've ever cared about!"

"My mind hungers for expansion!" Takamatsu gasped.

"Listening to my teachers is all I desire," Noda agreed.

The four of them continued in this fashion, excitement rising until Hinata tackled Takamatsu and they collapsed into a tussling dog pile, alive with the chant: "Stu-dy-ing! Stu-dy-ing!"

Angel blinked.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this, Otanashi thought to himself, trying not to meet Angel's gaze.

,


	2. Chapter 2

Ooyama licked his plate clean with a workman's efficiency, cheeks burning red with energy. "That… was the best Monday Mystery Mash I've ever tasted.

"Hey man, this special cheeseburger meal has to be the best thing on the menu," Fukimaki disagreed emphatically, moaning around a hunk of meat. "You get three-times the joy for each bite!"

"Mmm!" TK agreed, carefully chewing seafood with closed lips. TK always had excellent manners.

Ooyama flew up from the table and raced back into the lunch line, where a troop of grey-haired ladies watched the events with raised brows. "Oh, I have to go back for more! My youth demands it!  
Fukimaki and TK followed him. "Indeed," Fukimaki agreed. "My dedication to this school demands I sample every dish on the menu!"

With the scratch of chalk, the biology teacher sketched a cruTakamatsu complex diagram of some form of cell-whatsit. The class was in sedated silence as Mr. Craun turned and regarded them.

"Well," he droned. "Today class, we will be learning about the process of transcription. It is a vital intercellular process, as it enables our cells to create messenger RNA-"

"MESSENGER RNA!?"

Hinata had bolted upright. His breath came in gasps as he locked eyes the instructor, his fists were trembling.

Mr. Craun's chalk snapped.

"Messenger RNA… is my absolute favorite part of the cell! Ever since I was a boy, it has inspired me." Hinata ran his hands through his hair. "I, I'm sorry, I don't if I can keep it together. It's just, it's a lot to handle, you know?"

"Um… Do you need-"

"MITOSIS!" Noda cried, his chair going flying as he sprung up. His gaze locked into the instructor's rapidly blinking eyes. "Oh teacher, please, when do we go over Mitosis?"

"Well, we've already gone over that, back in September."

"Ugh," Noda grunted. "Failure…"

With a sob, Takamatsu arose. "Oh most gracious instructor, have mercy! I believe my mind will implode unless we go over the joys of volcanoes!"

"What... this is biology. Volcanoes are in Earth Science."

Takamatsu flung himself to the floor with a gurgle.

"Hey, enough! Who do you guys think you are, Watson and Crick?" Matsushita growled. Turning, he gave Mr. Craun a conspiratorial wink. "Keep going with the Bio, my man. You're doing great."

"Yes, please," Hinata gasped. "Keep going with the lesson! My youth demands it!"

Takamatsu sprung up. "Yes, continue! My mind needs the nourishment! _Bring it on…"_

The class looked at them hanging jaws, and eyes glazed with disbelief. Otanashi sunk into his seat. What is Yuri thinking, he wondered. And why is lunch not till after 3rd period…

At the front of the class, Angel's eyes narrowed.

3rd period was World History, with the venerable Mrs. Spicer.

"Right, she began as they took their seats. Otanashi eyes her in sympathy. She seemed like a nice lady. "Now, the French Revolutionary war was a time of great upheaval, less of a war then it was chaos. As symbols of the privileged classes, Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette-"

"_Marie Antoinette," _Hinata gasped.

Mrs. Spicer raised an eyebrow. "Yes, what is-"

"Oh, I can't believe it's her," Hinata tittered. "She's so hot! Marie is every young student's dream, a bold, attractive heroine in the story of France! I can't believe it!"

"Hot? What are you… Antoinette and the King were both executed on the guillo-"

"THE SECOND PUNIC WAR!" Noda roared, sending both desk and chair flying as he burst up. "We must cover it immediately!"

"By Fiddle, that was last year!"

Ignoring her completely, Noda whipped out his halberd, and immediately began a dramatic reenactment, blade whistles as he grunted and swished.

"But, but please, teacher," Takamatsu whimpered hopefully. "We can still talk about Austrian economics, right? My mind, belongs only to Austria…"

"No, that was last week-"

"By Scott, No!" Takamatsu wept, collapsing onto his desk.

"Will you all shut up," Matsushita called. "Who do you think you are, the KGB?" He winked at the teacher. "Come on, Spice-Dawg. Keep the history coming.

What in the… Otanashi wondered, watching his friends. A smile broke its way through his face, they were all on their feet, each frantically entreating the teacher to continue, their words running together. In between them was that one annoying chic from the student council, Tiffany or whatever. She was tittering angrily; seemingly oblivious to the halberd that was swishing inches from her throat.

After a moment, Angel turned in her seat to regard them. A crinkle formed on her forehead.

In the seat farthest back of the room, Yuri watched her, and smirked.

Shiina was conflicted. On the one hand, she would do whatever was necessary to get closer to reaching God. No matter how unpleasant the task, she would endure it, for the sake of justice. This mission did seem like it might work.

But on the other hand, it was the most _ridiculous_ thing she had ever heard of!

Noonday light filtered in from the small windows of the Gym storage room where she had taken refuge. She sat cross-legged; eye squinted as she carefully threaded a needle. Around her lay the supplies she had borrowed from the Home Ec. department, spools of thread, squares of fabric, a bin of white fluff for stuffing, and some beads for eyes.

If intense dedication to the traditional views of a contented youth was what was required of her, then she would comply. As the thread made its steady way through the needle's eye, her own eyes glinted dangerously. Sewing was what was expected of young girls. That was what her father had told her. But this wasn't for him, it was for her.

Let it begin, she thought, narrowing her concentration. The air shrieked as the metal flashed and wove, and a shape began to take form in front of Shiina with lightning efficiency.

"At last!" Hinata roared as the bell signifying the end of third period sounded. His fists pumped the sky. "Now, we shall have our baseball match!"

The others cheered their agreement, and were on their way to the door when a familiar voice stopped them.

"Hey, morons," Yuri hissed as she kicked her feet up on her desk. With a definite jerk of her eyebrows, she indicated the corner of the classroom. Angel was removing a mop and a bucket from a closet.

"Apparently," their leader muttered, "our Student Body President has taken it upon herself to clean up after class. Maybe…"

"Why, my dear president," Hinata gasped, rushing up to lean over Angel's shoulder. "You can't clean up all by yourself!"

Angel paused, mop in hand. "You… want to help?"

"Of course!" Matsushita the fifth agreed. "It wouldn't be honorable for us to leave the work for you!"

"It is our duty to the school," Takamatsu spoke solemnly.

Noda sneered. "Eh, but keep your mops and brooms. Us real men use rags!"

With roars of energy, the boys stormed the janitor's closet, raiding the rag drawer with hoots of abandon. Otanashi carefully snagged the mop.

"Right," Hinata gasped as they reached the hall, falling to their knees, rags to the ground. "First one to the staircase wins!" And they tore off down the hall, students flying to the side with cries of shock to avoid the cleaners.

"What is wrong with you people?" Albert Lecher, the Student Body Vice president shouted as he was tossed aside by Noda's onrushing form.

"Sorry, sorry," Otanashi apologized, following after. His cheeks burned as the storm-tosses students cast him incredulous glances. Calm down, they're just NPCs. Aw yikes, what are these guys thinking? They're hardly getting any dirt the way they're going!

He worked his mop into the hall's corner, tutting as he wrung it out and started wiping again. There was something relaxing about cleaning, and right now it was just what he needed.

From the open doorway, Angel watched his retreat, brow furrowed as if in great concentration. Finally her face cleared as if divine knowledge had been received. Her lips opened.

"It appears he has stolen my mop."


	3. Chapter 3

A considerable crowd had grown around the classroom door. With every new burst of rolling music from within, a ripple of murmurs would sweep through them. And the question flipping from one student to the other was, "Does GirlDeMo have a new singer?"

"…_that she was never alone_," Yui finished solemnly. The end of the last chorus was concluded by a drawn out bass note, and at the terminus of that piece, there was a pregnant pause as the band collected themselves.

"YOOHOO!" Sekine shouted, pirouetting with her bass. "That's the fastest we've ever banged out a song!"

Irie nodded happily. "We still had the score left over from when Iwasawa was with us, but we didn't have any words. Yui, I thought that was beautiful." She smiled peacefully. Too peacefully.

"Of course!" Yui yelled, saving the energy. She and Sekine exchanged frantic glances; they hadn't gotten around to telling Irie. They had to get the details of the current mission through to her, without letting the tension let up. Yui could just feel the prickle of Yusa's binoculars on her neck.

"It's one of the most touching, yet kick-tush love-songs ever composed!" Sekine agreed, going into an impromptu bass riff, fingers crackling with energy. Hisako joined in with her guitar, as Sekine went over to whisper in Irie's ear.

"We're in operation: High Tension Syndrome. If we let up on the excitement, then Yurippe will give us a Special Gift."

Irie's shoulders trembled, and she almost dropped a drumstick.

"It ain't half bad," Hisako snorted loudly, oblivious. "And it _rocks_, which is the only thing that really matters to me! Come on, guys!"

The jam session continued, beats and melodies converging as the volume climbed.

"Hot D***!" Hisako screamed, shoulders pumping. "I haven't had this much fun in days! Yui, you ain't half bad!"

Unused to the complement and carried along with the music, Yui forgot to watch her words. "Thanks! Heh, and that raggedy guitar of yours is doing pretty sick-nasty, amig-YOWW"

Irie and Sekine managed to restrain Hisako before she could get another punch on Yui. "_You trying to start a fight with me, punk_?" Hisako howled at Yui's figure, sprawled on the floor. "No one insults my guitar!"

They hadn't told Hisako about the Operation. There really was no need.

After massaging away the pain in her shoulder, Yui leapt up, quick to heal as usual. "Hey, I have an idea guys. Let's go down and have a concert on the fields! It'll be intense, one of the glory days of youth."

Hisako quit her struggle. "Hey, that's a great idea! Let's go!"

Another crowd of NPC's had formed in the cafeteria, possessing an air slightly removed from admiration.

Ooyama and Fukimaki's audience watched in amazed disgust as the pair put down their final plate on a stack that was already teetering on the edge of collapse.

"Erp," Fukimaki belched contentedly, slumping back into his chair. "Best… meal… ever." He fidgeted with his now considerably extended waist. "Woops. Looks like I'm all out of belt."

Ooyama licked his lip, similarly loaded. "Ohhh, yeah," he agreed. "You know… I think I'll just take a nap. Yurippe's Special Gift can't harm me if I'm in hibernation."

"Yeah, but our last Special Gift was a set of the Principal's boxer's. We had to wear them on our heads, and complete one whole lap of the school. A few guys ran into Angel, and well… that didn't end well. Yurippe said that the next time, she'd give us something of Angel's."

Fukimaki and Ooyama gazed at each other in dawning horror.

"Now that I'm full of energy, I want to exercise!" Fukimaki cried, leaping up. The NPC's stumbled back in shock as his extended bTakamatsu caught the lip of the table, and almost tipped the leaning tower of plates.

Ooyama followed suit. "Right! Exercise promotes health and emotional wellbeing. And being happy is what being a youth is all about!" His dimpled face beamed. "Why don't we ask TK how to teach us how to dance?"

"Yay youth!" Fukimaki laughed with a strangled smile. "Hey, TK! You almost done in the there? Let's learn how to dance!"

After a moment, a flush could be heard. TK lurched his way out of the men's room. He blinked in the sudden light, and grimaced. His face was a delightful shade of mint chocolate chip. "Ooh… Barracuda. Man… My stomach's being attacked…"

"You can attack it later! Let's go down to the fields, and learn to dance! Come on!"

With herculean effort, TK managed to give his overweight amigos a supportive thumbs up, before calmly making use of the garbage bin.

The needles' flashes had intensified. Hands blurred as cloth and thread flew together, and another shape joined the pile.

Shiina's eyes, originally narrowed with the intensity of her mission, had widened in joy. She gazed at her creations with love.

Let's see… that one will be Lily, and she can be Anastasia… He'll be Spot, because of the patch on his cheek! Oh, they're all just so…

"Well, you can just move your fat tush," Hinata demanded, gesturing wildly with his bat. "We have dibs on this field for baseball!"

"Are you blind as well as stupid?" Yui argued. She gestured wildly. "Girls Dead Monster is all set up to have a performance! And look, all these students came to hear us play!" The other band members yelled their agreement. The crowd of NPC's surrounding the band looked on at the spat in confusion.

"No way!" Hinata disagreed obstinately, cheeks red. "I've waited all day to play baseball, and that's what we're going to do!" He huffed, and kicked a cloud of dust in Yui's face.

Her lips narrowed. "Only rock-headed boys make their youth out of sports! Music is the true fulfillment of our childhood!" And she kicked back another cloud of dust into the baseball players.

Hinata's cheek's bulged. "Oh yeah?" he skidded at Yui, sending a wave of dust onto her.

"Oh yeah?" she retorted, sending a wave crashing back.

With grunts of impassioned fury, the pair dueled, sending up a massive cloud of dust on the baseball diamond that had the crowd gasping for breath.

Otanashi coughed. This was starting to feel like an assortment of five year olds. Through the haze, he could make out more NPC's heading their way, drawn by the crowd. He frowned.

"Hey, Hisako," he said to break the silence. "I've always wondered. Why do all the girls in the Battlefront wear jeans? I mean, don't most school uniforms include-"

"Miniskirts?" Hisako hissed, stalking towards him ominously. "You think we should be wearing miniskirts? You think it's expected, don't you?"

Otanashi backed away, voicing frantic denials.

"I'll tell you why we wear jeans. _Because they're comfortable_. Have you ever tried to do anything useful in a miniskirt? It's like you have handcuffs around your thighs. Jeans are practical, they breathe well, and they have pockets for carrying useful things, like string and snacks. _So deal_."

"Wait, wait a moment!" a voice called out, accompanied by exhausted gasps.

They looked up. Hinata and Yui paused their tussle. Fukimaki and Ooyama stumbled into view, almost rolling down the stairs to the field. TK floated after, hands clasped over his midsection.

"You guys can't do any of that," Fukimaki yelled again. "We're using this field to learn how to dance! Come on you punks, let's all learn how to dance! It's the only real way to reach a fulfilled, normal youth!"

"I want to learn the Macarena!" Ooyama agreed happily.

"No way!" Hinata howled. "We're using this field for a baseball game!"

"Not on my watch!" Yui argued. "Today is a day for rock!"

"I wouldn't mind learning how to dance," Matsushita the fifth confessed. He started performing a few simple jazz squares, chuckling to himself.

"No, my good fellow!" Takamatsu gasped. "The mind can only be truly enlightened by the thrill of the athletic physics!"

Hinata and Yui's staring contest quickly dissolved, and the two laid into each other, the wrestling match kicking up another a huge crowd of dust.

Otanashi sighed. Chaos surrounded him. Hisako was dueling Nodas' halberd with her bass, Ooyama and Matsushita were dancing a duet, and NPC's were stumbling out of the way to avoid Hinata and Yui's death ball. This can't be what Yurippe planned, he thought. Ugh, I really don't want to learn what a Special Gift is.

And I actually wanted to do something today.

"ENOUGH!"

The pandemonium slowed, as the Battlefront stopped to gaze at Otanashi, gasping for breath. "Look," he said. "Let's compromise. Why don't we just have a field day? There are so many people here now; it's really the only thing that would let us all participate. I could make some games up, and set up teams."

Hinata blinked. "A… field day?"

Noda lowered his halberd. "A field day? I like competition!"

"That sounds fun," Fukimaki agreed.

"Let's do it!"


	4. Chapter 4

"_The first ever Elihu the Young Acadamy Field Day is progressing well. Thus far they have completed capture the flag, a soccer match, five-legged relay races, volleyball, who-can-eat-bread-the-fastest-race, and male cheerleading contests," _Yusa reported calmly. "_Currently, team Fukimaki is winning, with teams Yui and Noda close behind. The deciding event shall be commando flag tag. Betting is available under the bleachers."_

There was a pause. "_They do seem fairly hyped up about school, Yurippe. How are things going with Angel?"_

Yuri smirked. "Fine. She's in a student council meeting right now, but the window in their classroom looks right out onto the field. I know she's getting all of it. Everything is progressing without a hitch."

The door to the Gym storage room swung open, flooding the area with the day's last light.

"Man, these delinquents are tough," an NPC laughed, as he and his friends loped in to grab supplies.

"Yeah," another agreed. "The flags are over there, on that wheelbarrow. You know what, just take the whole thing. We can put it back later." They rushed out, utterly failing to notice the scene to the side.

Shiina did not watch them leave, she never noticed NPC's. She put her needle down, and gazed at the ring of teddy bears around her in mounting worry.

"Guys, have you seen Benjamin?" she asked, her face pale. "I can't find him! Oh, you know how he is with asking directions, what if he's gotten lost?" She choked back a sob, as she flitted up and began to search the room. "What if he's alone, and needs his Momma?"

The field's monstrous floodlights flipped on as the last of the day faded. Under their clear glow, 3 teams of high schoolers were silhouetted, facing each other with faces drawn in determination.

"_Commando Flag Tag is an unusual form of game_," Yusa narrated. "_The objective is simple, to relieve each other player on each other team of their flags, while holding on to yours. The complication is each team is divided up into 7 "attack pods." These pods are simply three normal players, the "bearers," holding up one player, the "snatcher." The snatcher is the only member of the pod possessing of a flag. The mission of each attack pod is to intercept other attack pods, make contact, and deprive the enemy pod of their flag. In circles where this game is enjoyed, it is thought to be a one of the highest sports, to be executed with the highest of strategy and civility."_

"You guys ready to kick some a**!" Hisako howled. Team Yui cheered.

General Yui grinned dangerously. "All right dudes, here's the plan. When the gun goes off, everyone just charge in there and go crazy. I want to see biting, hair pulling, sand-kicking, or any other way of cheating you can think of. Got it?"

Another cheer.

"It's all for the operation, for the operation," Ooyama wheezed to himself. He nudged General Fukimaki softly. "Hey, uh, that team over there is kinda freaking me out."

From across the field, General Noda winked at them, clutching his halberd between his teeth. Team Noda chuckled evilly.

"_HEY, NO BLADED WEAPONS, PUNK!"_

Otanashi frowned as he walked up to check over Team Fukimaki. "All right, you guys look ready… Uh, Fukimaki, what's that tied around your head with your flag?"

Fukimaki guffawed. "Beat's me, some bear. Found in the wagon with the flags. It'll be my insignia; all of my team will be able to recognize me.

Otanashi retreated to a safe distance. "All right, on the gunshot, ready… RAT-A-TAT-TAT!" Otanashi fell to the ground in shock as the semi-automatic in his hand blew him backward.

With roars of bloodlust, the teams collided.

With deadly efficiency, Hisako, backed up by Irie and Sekine, rocketed from pod to enemy pods. Like a flash, they spun between two Team Noda pods, emerging with the purple flags securely in Hisako's clutches. Matsushita, Fukimaki, and Noda were engaged in a dramatic three-way free for all, shoulders straining as they repeatedly collided. Hinata fled for his life from a manically laughing Yui.

Yuri's eyes narrowed. This entire day, her team had acted as model students, if a bit over-eager. Now, the Battlefront was fully integrated with the NPC's, engaging in joyful school activity, all under Angel's vision.

What could Angel be thinking? They had fulfilled all the criteria for obliteration; they were seemingly acting in total obedience to the expectations of the school… and the will of Angel's God. But, nothing was happening!

The poor dear, Yuri thought to herself with satisfaction. How terrible it must feel, to have something you value in your world taken from you. Operation: High Tension Syndrome was just so perfect, a stroke of utter genius…

"Hehehe…" she chuckled. "_hehehe,hahahahmuhahahhahaHAHAHAHAHAH_-"

"Yurippe, you really sound like a villain," came the observation from her radio.

She trailed off. "Oh, can it." She returned her gaze to the field. "Just a bit longer… then I'm sure that we'll…" she trailed off. Wait, what was that blur, heading towards the field? She brought up her binoculars.

Shiina raced to the sports field, the grass blown down from the force of her motion. Her eyes were slits of focused purpose.

I'm coming to rescue you, Benjy, she thought.

Never anger the Momma Grizzly.

The flag tag players only had a moment to stare at the onrushing figure in confusion before she was upon them. Enraged limbs swung out, and groups of students, Battlefront and NPC, were all blasted into the air, before smashing back down to the unforgiving ground. Shiina flew to dispatch each pod, until she finally discovered her child. With a stroke of her Needle, she severed the bonds that bound Benjamin, and dispatched justice to the wretched male who had held him captive.

Her work done, Shiina stood still, cradling Benjamin in her arms.

Yuri's eye twitched. She… she ruined everything.

"But madam President, you can't leave yet!" she heard Albert Lecher call out.

Angel walked past Yuri's hiding place, floating toward the field. "I will be back."

Yuri was filled with horror; she leaped out of her window, to race down to field. No… you morons.

The being's blade shimmered to life as Angel gazed upon the scene of Shiina standing among a group of groaning students. Angel frowned.

"Why have you done this?" she asked quietly, facing Shiina.

Shiina's ice eyes stared back, reflecting Angel's empty stare. Her face was a stone. "Look at him," she commanded, holding Benjamin out.

Angel tilted her head. "…What?"

"HE'S SO CUUUUUUUUUUUTE!"Shiina gasped, clasping him to her chest, eyes closing in ecstasy.

Angel was silent for a moment. Her blade faded into a cloud of binary. "Harming other students is against the rules. Please refrain from repeating this action."

As Yuri drew near the scene of the fight, she caught Angel's parting words. "Oh dear… how shall I report this?"

Yuri froze. Report…

She sprung over to her fallen brethren. "Get up, all of you!" She slapped Hinata's dazed face repeatedly. "We have to follow her!"


	5. Chapter 5

With unhurried steps, Angel slipped through the door of a small building on the outskirts of campus, her pale hair luminous under the moon. The moment the door had shut, Battlefront streamed from the bushes, right on her path.

"Hey, have you seen Fukimaki?" Otanashi asked as they slipped through the door.

Hinata flinched. "Um… I don't really want to talk about it. But don't worry, he'll be all right."

Portraits glared at them as they stole past, doors led to unknown regions on either side. The grey cement walls were illuminated by a single emergency light, strung over the door. The farther they traveled, the darker their surrounding became. Otanashi saw Angel disappear in a door at the end of the hall.

"What is this place?"  
"I don't know," Yuri replied tightly. "No one has ever been in this facility before. It's an unknown. All I heard Angel say was that she's going to report something."

"Report…" Otanashi whispered.

Takamatsu nodded. "Report, to God."

They continued on in awe, nervously checking their weapons, their bruises forgotten. Amazing, Yuri thought, we could salvage this mission yet. The Battlefront tries to never harm NPC's, but tonight they were all beaten up. Possibly… that is enough for Angel to make contact.

The door Angel had used led a winding stair case. They descending carefully, the stair edges were chipped and worn, and a slip would alert Angel. At the bottom of the winding stair was a small room. And in that room, was a single black door. A strange flower had been scratched in the wood.

Beyond the door, waited another stair. It descended straight down, into the cloaking darkness.

"No turning back now," Yuri muttered, as they began their descent.

After several minutes of heart-stopping blind travel, they emerged into dimly lit cavern. Yuri and her companions dashed behind a pile of garbage, not waiting for the rest of the Battlefront to catch up. In front of them, Angel stood at the base of an enormous door. The enormous metal structure loomed over them, forbidding entry. They heard the tapping of keys from Angel.

"A password…" Takamatsu whispered. "Could this be the gate?"

As the taps finished, the heard a whoosh. Hydraulics whined as the metal door groaned its protest, and slid open. Yuri and the others squinted; all that could be seen beyond was pure, blinding light.

Without hesitation, Angel passed through the gate. The moment she was through, it began to slide closed.

Yuri hoped up. "Come on, morons!" she called, sprinting for the gate. "This is our chance; I need everyone who can make it to get through that door!" Guns primed, they ran for the closing crack of light.

Yuri gasped as she stumbled through, and heard the door thud shut behind her. She heard gasps beside her. Otanashi, Hinata, Matsushita, Noda, Takamatsu, and Shiina had stayed with her.

"Be ready," she cautioned, as they squinted, their eyes adjusting. After half a moment, their eyes flew open in shock.

Rows of plants stretched out before them, underneath the blinding floodlights. Sprinklers sent a thin mist into the sea of green. Classical music played lightly overhead.

Angel was on her knees, carefully ladling scoopfuls of mulch into pots. She hummed a familiar tune to herself.

Yuri turned circles in disbelief. "What… what is…"

Matsushita rushed up to her. "Hey, I found a clue!" he said happily. He held a plastic identification tag, the kind you find at tree stores.

Takamatsu pointed up at a sign. "Greenhouse 1," he read unsteadily.

"Hey, you!" Yuri snarled at Angel. "What the hell is going on here?"

Angel turned towards them. "Oh look, everyone else is here. More carbon dioxide for the plants." She blinked. "I am managing the garden club's greenhouse. None of them could make the evening shift. However, I cannot stay long, as I must return to the student council meeting. I must report that the game "Commando Flag Tag" should best be played in the future without the influence of stuffed animals. Their property of cuteness seems to lead to violence."

Yuri's cheek twitched.

The door slid open behind Yuri, as the rest of the Battlefront trickled in sheepishly.

"Sorry we're late," Ooyama apologized. "Thankfully, all you had to do was press the 'open' button by the side to open the door."

"But, Miss Student Body President, what was that tapping we heard?' she said in a tone of dangerous calm. "That wasn't a password?"

Angel blinked. "No. I was managing the garden club's budget on the calculator."

"A calculator? Oh, I see."

Yuri took a step backward, her eyes shut. The Battlefront crowded around her, highly agitated.

"It's all right, Yurippe," Ooyama comforted.

"Yeah, you have to admit, we got some seriously misleading signals. You didn't have to be a moron to misread it," Hinata joked cluelessly.

Yuri did not look up. "No, you're right. It's no big deal. You guys did well. In fact, I want to reward you."

Their faces turned vanilla ice cream pale. Hisako cursed colorfully.

Yuri straightened up, her eyes flashing as she belted, "AS OF NOW, EVERY MEMBER OF BATTLEFRONT HAS RECEIVED A SPECIAL GIFT!"

"NOOO…."

The door to the girl's dormitory creaked open. Angel slipped through into the warm morning sun, yawning as she felt the glow hit her skin. She was stepping down from the threshold when she stopped short.

The Afterlife Battlefront was stretched before her, standing stock still with frozen face. The principle of Elihu the Young Acadamy was splayed out in the dirt, naked except for his boxers, his sock gag, the bonds on his hands and feet, and his expression of terror.

The Battlefront gazed back at Angel, in their standard uniform-but with the uniform not on the standard people. All the women had somehow been forced into the men's uniform, and the men into the women's. Many of the students had their eyes clamped shut in horror, not looking at each other. Shiina was almost drowning in her billowing shirt. Matsushita was slurping noodles mournfully, nearly bursting out of his raiment.

Angel appraised them calmly. Then she glanced down, and she blinked.

A row of plants lay before the dress-confused revolutionaries. Their uprooted roots lay bare, dying in the sun.

Angel's blade shimmered to life.

**A/N Thanks to everyone who red and reviewed this short story. If you liked it, I'm currently writing a novelization of the entire series, which is an interesting task. **


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